Inspirational: "Loving Me"

So as a girl I know that it is a shared flaw that we (at least definitely me) criticize ourselves, never see the good, and always fall far from the amount of gratitude that we should have for our beautiful, healthy, functioning bodies. I have ALWAYS struggled with this, and the more I have thought about all of my imperfections, the more depressed and frustrated I have become. I have never really excepted any compliments, and any negative comments always have a HUGE impact on me! I hate it, and this is the beginning of an end. I am going to accept me for me, and love me--ha, and not in an egotistical way.

My older sister is such a wonderful and beautiful example to me. She has shared her goal for loving herself, and it is such an amazing and uplifting thought. By accepting, and loving myself, I really will become a better person: I will love the body my Heavenly Father has given to me--the changes motherhood brings to it and all.

It really has been an ugly battle my whole life--never shared because my insecurities have been so great that I was afraid if I ever voiced them to complain, all would be exposed, and there is nothing scarier than feeling naked in a room and all eyes are on you. I think by keeping them inside they have just ingrained their ugly little impressions in my mind, and I want more than anything to rid my head forever of them. I know it will be a long process, and as I physically change over the years, I will constantly be facing new battles , but I am finally willing and ready to take on this challenge.

I want to be in a crowd, visiting with my friend, or simply looking through a magazine and not feel inferior, or less of a woman in any way. I can be so much of a better sister, friend, daughter, wife, and especially mother by loving myself. I know it sounds contradicting, but I know by accepting, and liking me for me, all the energy those negative thoughts sucked away can now be applied to all the Oh SO important people in my life!

I want my daughter to grow up and want to be like her mommy, not because she was perfect (even if I could somehow be), but because she loved herself, and was able to have a greater love for those around her because of it!

My reason, like my wise sister, for writing this down "is because something shared is something gained." I can now actually work on this elephant of a task :) I didn't write this to get sympathy, or to seek any type of pity: it was a hard thing for me to do, and it feels wonderful to get it off my chest. Honestly I feel in-powered by channeling these emotions and getting them in writing. This has helped me to organize my thoughts, and pinpoint reasons for wanting to change. Too many tears have been shed, but now I feel I have at least started the long journey in actually loving me.