SO VIOLATED (the reason I changed my blog back to private)

So quite recently, 10 minutes ago, I changed my blog back to private. I was kinda anti-private because it just seemed like a hassel for other people to read it, and it seems like no one hardly does read it when it is private. But my oh so smart computer tech brother has advised me on a few occasions that it isn't safe to have a public blog. At first my reaction was "what are the chances someone will want to creepily stalk me" or "no creepy person will ever randomly find my blog."

WRONG!!!

I found out the hard way. Occasionally I go up to "design" on the top of my blog and click on "stats" to see who is reading my blog. At the bottom of the page there is a place where it tells you if anyone googles a word or phrase and if your blog came up. And it definitely did, in the most creepily way, they searched "NAKED". And I have used that word once, once, in my whole blog! I said something like "when I talk about my insecurities I feel naked". I didn't use it in a weirdy way, but that creepy person still saw it!!!! I mean, I don't want anyone like that, with a mind like that, who would goolge that (and heaven knows what else would come up--besides my blog) to ever see pictures of me or especially my family!!!!

So I have learned a major lesson, there are so many people I don't want to have a glimpse into my life, and I need to be better at keeping things private...

whew, I know that was kind of long, but I had to vent, and I don't want anything like this to happen to you! If you make your blog private I promise I will still read it!!! Because now, even if no one else reads this, at least I don't have to worry anymore :)

Valentine's Day

So I know this is very late, but we have been quite busy at our house lately. I have been finishing up a book I've been editing by now working on the last step, typesetting. It is a long process so I have been busy! And Aaron is as busy as ever studying for tests, working his bum off, and being a wonderful husband and father. The little miss has also been very busy growing teeth and playing with her dolls.

This Valentine's Day I didn't do everything I was hoping to accomplish, but Aaron still got pb&j cut in the shape of a heart, Cordy ate some yummy heart shaped cookies from Nana and Papa, and I received the most beautiful roses ever!!! Oh, and for dinner I made some yummy enchiladas (because they were red :)

She wanted to help wrap daddy's present

Our little fashionista

A side most people don't see of our little angel :)

A Week of Firsts

So this past week Cordy has been growing up like crazy. Her first tooth came in! It has been a long time coming--we've been waiting for that sucker for the past 6 or 7 months. We were happy that it took her so long because that usually means that they will be better/stronger teeth :) (that's what we have been told anyways) at least it has meant no brushing. Aaron and I have been teasing others by telling them if she didn't get her teeth, we would actually be relieved because then we would just wait until she is 18 to get her dental implants--in order to avoid her ever dating in high school :)haha, well it WAS a good plan.
And still talking about her little tooth: since day one our little angel has been anything but normal, from a full head of black hair now to have her first tooth come in on the top. And there is about 3 others on the top ready to break through...she has proved to be very unpredictable.
I'm not going to lie, when I found her tooth last Thursday, I cried. My baby's toothless little smile is not toothless anymore! I know it sounds ridiculous, but that means my baby REALLY is growing up...I KNOW I will be the mom who cries at every change: going to nursery, when she says "I love you"....countless others and not to mention EVERY first day of school. Oh boy :)

And on top of that, she got her first scraped knee from running outside. This whole growing up thing is happening way too fast!!!

Inspirational: "Loving Me"

So as a girl I know that it is a shared flaw that we (at least definitely me) criticize ourselves, never see the good, and always fall far from the amount of gratitude that we should have for our beautiful, healthy, functioning bodies. I have ALWAYS struggled with this, and the more I have thought about all of my imperfections, the more depressed and frustrated I have become. I have never really excepted any compliments, and any negative comments always have a HUGE impact on me! I hate it, and this is the beginning of an end. I am going to accept me for me, and love me--ha, and not in an egotistical way.

My older sister is such a wonderful and beautiful example to me. She has shared her goal for loving herself, and it is such an amazing and uplifting thought. By accepting, and loving myself, I really will become a better person: I will love the body my Heavenly Father has given to me--the changes motherhood brings to it and all.

It really has been an ugly battle my whole life--never shared because my insecurities have been so great that I was afraid if I ever voiced them to complain, all would be exposed, and there is nothing scarier than feeling naked in a room and all eyes are on you. I think by keeping them inside they have just ingrained their ugly little impressions in my mind, and I want more than anything to rid my head forever of them. I know it will be a long process, and as I physically change over the years, I will constantly be facing new battles , but I am finally willing and ready to take on this challenge.

I want to be in a crowd, visiting with my friend, or simply looking through a magazine and not feel inferior, or less of a woman in any way. I can be so much of a better sister, friend, daughter, wife, and especially mother by loving myself. I know it sounds contradicting, but I know by accepting, and liking me for me, all the energy those negative thoughts sucked away can now be applied to all the Oh SO important people in my life!

I want my daughter to grow up and want to be like her mommy, not because she was perfect (even if I could somehow be), but because she loved herself, and was able to have a greater love for those around her because of it!

My reason, like my wise sister, for writing this down "is because something shared is something gained." I can now actually work on this elephant of a task :) I didn't write this to get sympathy, or to seek any type of pity: it was a hard thing for me to do, and it feels wonderful to get it off my chest. Honestly I feel in-powered by channeling these emotions and getting them in writing. This has helped me to organize my thoughts, and pinpoint reasons for wanting to change. Too many tears have been shed, but now I feel I have at least started the long journey in actually loving me.

Giveaways

So I have been following this blog for a long time! I love all of her designs and her creative mind! She is having a giveaway for one of her gorgeous headbands that I would just love to have! take a look at Sarah's blog:

Awesome blog

Birthday Girl

So last week the little munchkin turned one!!! I cannot believe that a year has gone by with our precious little girl. This year, I think both Aaron and I could say, that it has been the best year of our life. It is amazing how much love and happiness our little angel has brought into our home. Seriously, life before now seems like we were living in a 2D world and when she came into our lives everything turned into 3D. We have experienced a new and unbelievably strong type of love, happiness, and even sadness (when our little one gets hurt). All of our emotions have been heightened--in a good way--and everything is just better. And don't get me wrong, parenting is hard...but there are So many moments that make it all worth it!
So now the little pumpkin is zooming all over the place. She is becoming so much more aware of things and it is so fun. Aaron and I have a blast talking to her because any question we ask her she says "ya" or "mmmhm" it is too dang cute. So this is how conversations go:

Brenna: Cordy,is mommy your favorite person in the whole world?
Cordy: Ya
Aaron: Are you lying?
Cordy: Ya

Haha, so you can see we have fun with talking to her.
We now can tell her "Cordy, I'm going to get you" and put our hands up like we are going to tickle her, and she goes squealing down the hall and tries to hide behind anything she can--by hiding her face :) We are having a blast with her.
She is the MOST loving little girl ever. She hugs random people at church, and even fell in love with her doctor because he was so nice--she didn't even want to go to me!
She loved her little party and smiled the whole time we sang "Happy Birthday" to her. She loves everything she got, clothes included, and had a great day!



Attempt at a birthday cake...not how I wanted it, but it was yummy

fun party hats!

She played with it instead of eating it...

So many fun presents!

She had a tea party with her new tea set, and baby doll..(It was actually really warm for us--that bit of snow on the ground was the only snow anywhere)



More one year pics are coming :)